I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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