I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
