help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
