so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
