Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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