You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
