Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
