We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
