are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
