You can't motorboat a personality
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
