she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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