Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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