wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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