Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
