i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
