Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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