i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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