He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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