forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
