After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
