I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
