why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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