Kiss
Puke
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
