Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
