The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
