I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
