I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
