Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
