ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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