I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
