I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
