2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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