is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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