like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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