God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
