I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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