Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
