Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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