Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
