everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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