i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Can Purell be used as lube?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
