Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
