Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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