i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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