I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
