hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
