The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
