so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
