you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
