how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
