You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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